So, many people have been replying to my Supernatural is not queerbait post with comments about how I missed out on all the stuff actors and writers were saying at the time. which, yes! on purpose I did this, because I wasn’t in fandom then!

And I think some of those comments are relevant and useful to hear - I did and do acknowledge that part of the live fan experience is interacting with creators, and I’m skipping that part in my spn viewing. I’m by necessity not having the exact live watching experience in 2023, and so my reactions are going to be different because I’m not grappling with some unhinged proclamation that Misha or Kripke or whoever came up with live on stage at a con in 2017.

But. I’m not sure it’s right to claim that the live fan experience is the correct fan experience. It’s a fan experience, for sure, but I don’t know that it gives much more insight into the show than the way I’m watching it.

I am someone who deeply believes that art and artist are inseparable. No matter how hard you try, you are going to create something that comes straight from your soul. Sorry about it! It’s true. So I do think that knowing more about an artist will help you understand the work they put out.

However, I also believe that a lot of the time, the artist may not be able to be entirely honest about what they have done, what has influenced them and why they have created the thing that comes out of them. Grab someone and ask them publicly about why the curtains are blue in their story and they might just say “uh, I think blue’s an ugly colour? It’s not that deep.” And maybe they genuinely think that, and it’s only twenty years later that they sit up in bed and realise holy shit blue is my mom’s favorite color and she’s an asshole! OR maybe they KNOW that about their mom but they’re not ready to talk about their trauma yet. Or maybe they aren’t willing to allow their mom to become a part of an invented world they love and feel safe in. Or maybe they just like talking absolute shit.

So what I’m saying is, maybe all of the things the spn writers and producers and actors said are literally and absolutely true. Or maybe some of it is made up, and some is half true, and some isn’t true but they didn’t know it at the time, and some IS true but they didn’t know it at the time, and some is just random shit the higher ups told them to say, and some is just random shit they felt like saying because they were at their tenth con of the season and they were hungover and they wanted to be a horrible troll. I think there’s real danger in assuming everything coming out of everyone’s mouths all the time is true, and even more danger in assuming that it’s canon.

I know there is huge debate about this, but as far as I’m personally concerned (you may disagree, and you can, and that’s cool) the only thing that’s canon is the finished piece of media. It’s useful to know about what was in drafts, it’s super interesting to hear what the people involved thought was going on at the time, but what stands, what remains, is the text itself.

And that’s the point of my original post. I absolutely hear that a lot of fans felt and feel queerbaited and I think that experience is totally valid, but the show itself, the core thing that still exists when you strip away all of the EW articles and con appearances and gossip items and dissertation comments and social media posts and whatever else there was, is absolutely one hundred percent a queer coded text. And I just think that’s so fucking interesting. Because that tells me that a lot of people quietly did the thing. They wrote a gayass script, they made gayass acting choices, they had a gayass wardrobe and set design and directors and editors, and what emerged at the end was a gay piece of media. It stands as a queercoded show.

I keep saying that I am waiting for the tell-all making of book in 2035, and I really am, because I think that it’s often only with hindsight that we can truly understand the art that we were making. And I think it’s fantastic that Misha is now openly saying that Cas is gay. It clearly means such a lot to him (and to us!) and it is very meaningful in a larger cultural context. But even if he spent his entire life saying that Cas was completely straight and just had a prolonged bro episode during 15x18, it would not matter, because on the show his character literally turned to another man and told him he loved him. And that’s text! That’s what remains! That’s the actual story.

#realistically - no one was going to speak openly about how they were pulling a fast one on corporate #(society if we get that in a tell-all documentary tho) #still! the text is the text is the text (is gay af) and the authorial statements we do have support polysemy/multiple interpretations #there's an interesting essay on how Fight Club's DVD commentary steers perception away from queer readings that would otherwise be obvious #something similar happened here with the hush-hush and resulting fandom/editorial telephone game that projected malice on it #but *the text* telegraphs good-faith intentions in no uncertain terms. gay love can pierce the veil/is what's real and that's that on that! #spn meta #how tv works #spn is queer (via @deancasforcutie)

Thanks for the peer review - this is the Fight Club essay I mentioned, for the curious

my mind is a salad spinner and i'm whizzing my thoughts at high velocity while my blorbos hold on for dear life

this post is for broccoli fans ONLY 🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦🥦 broccoli i love you

The best thing about being an artist is that you can draw what you want. Until you can't draw it. Then it's horrible being an artist.

jensenackles: A few summer pics. Hope everyone is having a great one. Happy 4th y’all.

oh. my god I was just writing a fic and I was about to say "he grimaced as if he'd bitten into a lemon" when it occurred to me, hang on, are there lemons in Star Wars? Or are they called something else? Despite the fact that it literally does not matter sksjs I went to google it and I typed in "Star Wars lemons" FORGETTING, in my brief naivety WHAT LEMONS USED TO MEAN

so you can imagine what came up

jensenackles: A few summer pics. Hope everyone is having a great one. Happy 4th y’all.

#Pride may be over but the gays are winning and Disney is getting their shit rocked